


Every Time

by i_am_a_hog



Series: Jesus Christ Superstar [39]
Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Sex, M/M, mentions of mary magdalene, porn with underlying plotlines that tie into the musical?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 16:50:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18525637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_a_hog/pseuds/i_am_a_hog
Summary: Pre-betrayal angry sex with Bottom!Judas.





	Every Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TrashMetal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashMetal/gifts).



> Have fun. I certainly did. Also,,,, angsty porn! Good!!
> 
> Happy good Friday!

Things had not been going well between the two of them. Judas was well aware that Jesus was sleeping with Mary and he got it. Their relationship had never been exclusive – sure, mostly it was, because neither of them really wanted anybody else. At least until Mary came along. But when she did, Jesus fell head over heels and Judas could not even blame him. She was gorgeous, secure in her place in the world, confident, and she knew how to use all that to her advantage. Judas would have let Jesus go.

But Jesus never said anything. It was obvious to everybody that his feelings for Mary were not innocent and yet Jesus barely talked to anybody about them. Judas told himself that he would have let Jesus go because he loved him. And he wanted Jesus to be happy above all else. But Jesus never asked and above all, his behaviour towards Judas did not change. At least not in the beginning. Because Judas was in love with Jesus, he stayed and his frustration grew. Where in the beginning he had been open to change, he became jealous and he resented himself for it. That was when he first thought about putting an end to all this.

Months had passed and Judas’ resolve had grown stronger. He had a plan to get Jesus out of the centre of attention and he was going to go through with it no matter what. He had a hunch that Jesus knew what he was planning. His behaviour towards Judas had changed, was more aggressive, to which Judas only responded with aggression of his own, because all the frustration was becoming unbearable.

They barely talked anymore. But Jesus still texted him every few nights, inviting Judas over to his room.

Judas stared blankly at the phone in his hand. It was old but it did its job and at least when Judas was inevitably going to snap, it would not be a tragedy when he threw it against a wall.

 _Come over?_ Jesus wrote and Judas had typed out _No_ , but did not dare to send it. He was too much of a coward to deny Jesus anything.

He clenched his jaws and took a deep breath, deleted the letters and replaced them with _ok_. He locked his door behind him and made his way down the hallway of the hostel to Jesus’ room. The door was standing halfway open and Judas locked this door behind himself as well. He did not want to risk the off chance that somebody would interrupt them. Jesus stepped out of the tiny bathroom. His hair was tied up, twisted into a knot in his neck, his shirt was open and he had not even bothered to put on a pair of trousers. He looked like a mess and the sudden urge to take care of him shot through Judas. But when he moved, so did Jesus and they collided in a hungry kiss. It was the only way they knew how to be together anymore.

Judas dug his fingers into the flesh at Jesus’ waist, pulling him in, holding him close, well aware that his grip had to hurt. Jesus bit down on his lip in response and Judas tasted blood, but before he could react, Jesus took a hold of Judas’ neck, burying his fingers in his hair, pulling and despite himself, Judas moaned into the kiss.

Jesus liked that; he leaned up against Judas, their chests pressing together and Judas could feel the warmth radiating off of him. He also felt Jesus’ dick, rubbing against his own as Jesus moved. That man knew exactly what he was doing and Judas was completely at his mercy.

Without breaking the kiss, Jesus pushed him back against the door with a loud thud and slipped his fingers underneath the hem of Judas’ t-shirt.

He broke the kiss, pushed Jesus away, and pulled the shirt over his head. Jesus’ lips were back on his before he could blink. His lip stung, but Judas barely felt it. Jesus’ hands were roaming his chest, twisting his nipples, then scratching his fingernails down Judas sides, beginning to open his trousers.

Judas moaned when his dick sprang free. He had not even been aware of how hard he was.

“No underwear?” Jesus mumbled against his lips.

“I never need any when I come here.”

Jesus’ only response was another bruising kiss, before he fell to his knees and swallowed Judas down. Before his rational brain shut down completely, Judas noticed how fast everything was happening, how he missed the times when they would not rush things but instead took it slow, making everything more charged, more explosive.

And then, Jesus twisted his tongue around the base of Judas’ dick and his instinctive reaction was to grab the back of Jesus’ head and keep him in place. If Jesus wanted to do this, it would be on Judas’ terms.

He pulled back, felt the wet heat of Jesus’ mouth around him, a scrape of teeth, because of course Jesus did that, then he thrust back in, ignoring the responding gag. He pulled back again, pushed forward and as he was setting a rhythm, Jesus hollowed his cheeks, sucking, used his teeth and his tongue and Judas knew he was not going to last long. Jesus knew how to play him perfectly. When he tried to pull back, so as not to come already, Jesus’ hands came up to his butt, keeping him still while he continued to work Judas’ dick, moaning around him, looking up at him from underneath his lashes and when Jesus finally pulled away with a pop, licking his lips, he took Judas in hand, twisted his wrist in the exact way he knew Judas needed and just like that, he came all over Jesus’ hand and his shirt, throwing his head back against the door with a bang.

Judas’ knees were growing weak, but Jesus leaned up into him, kissing him fiercely, keeping him upright.

“I love you,” Jesus whispered and it hurt. It hurt because Judas knew it to be true while at the same time his distrust of Jesus had never been stronger. It hurt because Jesus sounded like he was uttering these words from muscle memory without any meaning at all and at the same time they resonated with deepest emotion.

Judas ran his hands over the warm skin at Jesus’ back, feeling the muscles shift beneath his fingertips, simply holding on to Jesus for the moment because really, that was the only thing he ever truly wanted.

Jesus kissed along Judas’ neck, sucking the skin over his collarbones and Judas moaned softly, which seemed to rip Jesus from whatever thoughts he had been following. Instead, he took Judas’ wrist and pulled him into the room, in the direction of the bed. But he only went to the bedside table to grab a packet of lube.

“Bend over,” Jesus commanded and Judas did so, finally letting his knees give in as he let his torso fall onto the ruffled sheets.

Jesus’ finger was not gentle or considerate when it pushed in. Judas hissed and forced himself to relax; Jesus finger-fucked him slowly, his pace ever-increasing and Judas enjoyed himself until Jesus added a second finger and pumped into him faster and harder. Judas was growing hard again – sooner than he would have expected – and started rutting against the sheets. A mere moment later, Jesus’ other hand gripped Judas’ hip, stopping every movement he could have made, while his fingers were still thrusting inside Judas. And then he stopped altogether, which left Judas gasping for air.

“Please,” he panted out and felt Jesus lining up with him before the word had even fully left his mouth.

As Jesus pushed in, he leaned forward, his breath hot against the nape of Judas’ neck.

“Why are you doing it?” Jesus asked and Judas heard the tears in his voice.

“I have to,” Judas sighed. So Jesus really did know.

“God,” Jesus cried out and Judas was not sure if he should take the exclamation literally or if it was just an outlet of Jesus’ own frustration.

So Judas stayed quiet, while Jesus’ hands settled at his hips, fingernails digging into his skin, driving tears into Judas’ eyes.

They moved in perfect sync, like a well-oiled machine. They knew each other so intimately.

“I want you back, Judas” Jesus pressed out between thrusts. Judas laughed bitterly through his tears. If anything he could say the same to Jesus. Not the other way round. Judas was not the one who had left.

“I wanna go back to the way things used to be,” Jesus groaned but Judas could not take it.

“Shhh.” And Jesus stayed quiet. The only noises in the room were the slaps of each thrust and their joint moans. Judas was close. But before he could reach beneath himself, Jesus sped up once again, pounding into Judas once, twice, then buried himself deep within him.

Judas felt his come inside even when Jesus made no attempts to pull out.

“Please don’t,” Jesus whispered next to Judas’ ear.

Judas clenched his jaw and shook his head.

“I’m sorry.” He choked on the words as he turned his head to capture Jesus’ lips in a desperate kiss. Judas’ lip was still bleeding and Jesus’ responsive kiss did not exactly help. But then Jesus was gone. He broke the kiss, pulled out, stumbled backwards.

“Leave,” he said, his voice trembling with unknown power.

“Leave!”

This time it was a scream and Judas scrambled towards the door, grabbing his clothes to hide himself behind. He was still hard, aching as he clumsily unlocked the door and ran back to his own room. There were tears in his eyes but he blinked them away. This whole situation was embarrassing enough without him crying. Judas’ legs gave out and he collapsed onto his own bed, hand closing around his dick. In his mind he saw Jesus. Loving Jesus; the man who had taken care of Judas and who had been willing to give everything up for him. Well-dressed Jesus who made an effort for Judas. Soft, gentle, passionate Jesus. And with thoughts of times long past in his mind; with the memories of Jesus – dark hair, deep brown eyes, soft lips – Judas finally came.

He turned around and pulled a blanket over himself, feeling Jesus inside of him still. Now, he let the tears flow, but Judas quickly drifted off.

A sharp knock at his door awoke Judas.

He threw on a pair of sweats and opened up. Jesus was standing there, unmoving against the darkness of the hallway, staring at Judas with those eyes he would never get enough of.

“I already told you I’m sorry,” Judas said. He tried not to let on how fast his heart was beating.

“I love you,” Jesus only said and again those words cut through Judas’ soul like a hot knife through butter. “I couldn’t lose you.”

Judas shook his head but stayed quiet. Then, Jesus moved, wrapped his arms around Judas, just holding him for the first time in what felt like years and despite himself, Judas let his head rest against Jesus’. He had showered; his hair was still damp.

Jesus’ embrace was warm and managed to calm Judas down like nothing else. He took a deep breath, but did not say anything. He had no words for what he was feeling – good and bad alike, mixed up in the worst possible way.

After several long moments, Jesus pulled back.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. “I know you have to do what must be done.” Judas did not like the tone his voice had taken on but still, he remained quiet. Jesus leaned in and whispered against the corner of Judas’ mouth.

“I’m sorry about your lip.”

The kiss they shared was one of pure nostalgia. They both knew that this was not them anymore, that both of them had changed and that they could never return to what they once had. But for this one kiss they let themselves pretend like everything could go back to normal.

Judas knew that he would get another one of those texts within the next few days.

And he knew he was still going to go to Jesus.

Every time.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Kudos and Comments are always sexy. Umm also happy Good Friday (they say at 23:59.. Literally) and I am proud of myself for actually writing and finishing this today!


End file.
